| Last semester
was my first semester as an RA. I had a floor
of 67 coed first-year students. Late in the year,
one of my residents, who had become a friend of mine,
killed himself. I found him in his room within 2
hours after he hung himself. It was one of the
most devastating events in my life. As I battle
with the aftermath and the flood of emotions, I can
find few positive aspects of this ordeal. Hopefully,
I can help other people prevent what I am going through
now.
First of all, I am quickly learning that it takes
time to heal. It takes time to move on from
the trauma and the pain. Allow yourself that
time to work through your grief and your loss.
Allow yourself the right to talk about it and give
yourself permission to seek professional help.
In my case, the University Counseling Center was unable
to treat me because, as a staff member, I had to work
with them to get through this tough time. The
University was able and willing to pay for me to see
an outside professional.
Try not to blame yourself or assign all the responsibility
on yourself. I know that it is hard to listen
to that and even if you do listen, you probably won't
believe it. I don't. But I hope to work
to the conclusion that the person who committed suicide
did it in solitude. There was no way for you
to prevent it from happening.
Listen to others who knew him or her. They
are going through a similar grieving process and you can
help one another get through this.
Be prepared for the legal consequences of the
action. In the death of any student on campus,
there are usually some kind of legal ramifications
that can occur a long time after the suicide.
Realize that even if you are aware of the signs of
depression and suicidal people, you are not a professional
or an expert in this area.
Organize or help with a vigil or a small memorial
of some sort. However, be aware that sometimes
suicide is "contagious" and that by glorifying
suicide or victims of suicide, some people will resort
to suicide for the attention they feel comes of the
act. Some sort of closure is necessary for recovery.
Utilize the resources in your community. There
are Suicide Survivor Support Groups around the country.
If you know someone who is a suicide survivor (someone
who knew the person who killed himself), do not alienate
that person or talk about them behind their backs---it
is obvious and painful.
Anonymous
|
