In looking through the stories and articles that have been submitted by so many clearly dedicated Resident Assistants to this web site, I am struck by the immensity of the task that is before each of you.  I, too, spent two years as a Resident Assistant at a very large state University, and I, too, found it to be a job that could not possible get done in the amount of hours in a day.  It was not, however, until three years later, when I enrolled in a Master's program in Clinical Counseling, did I truly begin to appreciate how much we all did then, and how much you all do now.  I submit this article as a reminder to each of you that you are not, nor do you need to be, the end all be all for each of your residents.  

You will have some that will be your closest friends in the years down the road, and you will have some that never opened their door to your kindness and energy.  You will have some that want you to counsel them, and who truly believe that you are qualified to do so, and you will have some who think you are just in it for whatever perk that your school offers RA's.  Remember that you are not a counselor.  You have a mere whirlwind week or two of training to prepare you to encounter what ever situation presents itself at your door step.  You will not know how to handle it all, nor should you.  Trust me when I tell you that this all comes from experience.  I, like many of you, have testified in judicial trials, and I was actually subpoenaed for a court trial, as well.  I have seen fights and furniture fly out windows. I have held the hand of crying women who have been abused by their partners.  I have gone to court with residents for restraining orders, and I have been threaten, myself by residents who blamed me for their problems in the dorm...It's a really hard job.  It is possibly harder for some of you than you can even see at this moment.  You will find yourself, in a couple of years, recalling some of the situations you have responded to and you will marvel at your own strength. 

So what advice can I give you as a veteran of your fine profession?  There will be one student that you will remember as the one that made it worth while.  It may be the one that was going to leave school and you helped him to stay.  It may be the one who talked to you at length about her alcohol problem, or it may be the one who finally told you that you are doing a good job.  Identify that student and be grateful, because s/he is the job's true reward.  Additionally, don't try to counsel anyone.  It's not your job. In the counseling profession, the first rule of good therapy is "do no harm."  There are some situations that could be made worse than better if we step outside our competence and try to "help" when we should leave it to the pro's.  Your job is to care, to be empathetic and not to judge.

Well, I hope this is helpful, and I am glad that you have this web site...I wish that it had been around when I was an RA at three o'clock in the morning the night before bulletin boards were due.  Enjoy your job, and good luck in the trenches :)