HOME

Spotlight:

Other Pages:

Sponsor!

Handling a Sexual Assault Situation

Residence Life Professional Answers:

First of all, I commend you for working through such a tough situation.  This is one of those things that we try our hardest as student affairs professional to prepare our staffs to deal with, while at the same time hoping that they will never have to.  It sounds like you did a great job through the incident...so I'm glad to know that you were there and prepared! 

As for keeping yourself sane through it all...I would suggest making sure that your supervisor knows that you are dealing with issues yourself.  It is hard being the caregiver all of the time.  Perhaps it's a good way for your department to realize that they need to offer more support for those of you who are dealing...and might need to readdress some of these issues through staff development and/o training sessions.  Also...it's not unheard of for people who help others to seek help for themselves.  Don't be afraid to talk to a counselor yourself about the issues that have arisen since.  As I always tell my staff, you can't help other people if you're dealing with issues yourself...and it can sometimes hinder you from helping if a similar situation arises again.  Knowing some of the proper ways to deal with these anxieties should make you feel better.

Also...have you thought about sharing these feelings with other staff?  Is there a venue where you can discuss these issues with other RAs and/or professional staff?  Perhaps even taking time out of a staff meeting or asking your supervisor for time at a staff development or in-service might be a good way for your to "get it out" and talk to other people.  Some staff at my institution that have dealt with sexual assault situations also volunteer their time to do sexual assault awareness programs for the general student population (me being one of them), where we talk a little about the situations we've seen and also do an information session about keeping yourself and your friends safe from such circumstances.

Again...I commend you on your efforts.  Keep up the motivation and energy and always remember that you made a huge impact on someone and helped them through a very tough situation.

Best of luck in the future.

Steve Crudup
Resident Director, O'Connor Hall
Dickinson Community
Binghamton University

I am terribly sorry that you have had to deal with an assault so early on.  I know that it is likely one of the hardest things you have been through.  My advice is to talk to your counseling center  and supervisor/director of Res. Life, see if you can get an appointment to talk to someone.  Remember confidentiality!  Do not use your resident's name when discussing the situation.

>From my personal experience, helping a student through a Rape Kit has been one of the more difficult tasks--and I have been in the field for three years.  If your area/university has a rape crisis center, they can also help you.  Just call and tell them you have been assisting a friend with an assault and that you feel a little overwhelmed, they should be able to see you.

Other avenues for help exist in your resident.  Once  she/he seems to doing better, ask them what you could have done to make things easier.  Find out what you did that made them most comfortable.  Remember that your resident's choice was the primary thing assaulted--her/his choice of what to do with their body, so if they don't want to talk t o you anymore,  or if they begin to shut down when you mention it, remind them that they don't have to talk about it, but you are still there for them. 

Some students/survivors in the past have actually wanted to be involved with rape prevention programs.  Also, you may feel better if you can get some information out to other residents.  Approximately 40% of all sexual assaults/date rapes that occur on college campuses occur in the first six weeks.  I encourage you to talk to your supervisor or a professional counselor. Remember that supporting a victim of rape can be stressful!  It is normal to need to get support, just don't breach confidentiality.

Thanks for your question
Holly Habicht, Residence Life Coordinator, Ga Tech

Residentassistant.com forwarded me your message about the sexual assault situation that you dealt with recently.  What a difficult  and unfortunate circumstance to have to deal with so early on in the semester.  And - as a first year RA!  The first thing I want you to know is, you have been down one of the longest and hardest roads in the business my friend.  Chances are the situations you will deal with from here on out are going to be chicken feed compared to this one.  The RA job is RARELY that hard ALL the time or even VERY OFTEN.

Sometimes administrators get so wrapped up in helping the survivor they forget the secondary survivors in the situation which include the survivors friends, family, significant other, AND the responding RA(s).  If you feel that you have been forgotten my friend, please let your supervisor know - in an appropriate and respectful manner.  It is always important for people to review and critique their responses and plan once a sexual assault has occurred to identify what worked and what still NEEDS work.  It sounds like remembering the secondary survivors and their pain in something that needs to be incorporated into the protocol for handling this situation in the future on your campus.  

In the meantime - PLEASE make an appointment at you campus Counseling Center to talk about this situation and the feelings and reactions that are residual inside you.  This is a VERY emotional issue and feeling affected by it even though you were not the one assaulted, is COMPLETELY normal and expected.  Do deal with this now, while it is fresh.  Failure to do so will only mean having to deal with more of a mess of emotions later.  

You should consider yourself a seasoned RA at this point my friend.  Having taken such good care of your resident, please turn some of the caring inside and take care of finishing this situation for yourself by finding a confidential source to talk with you about it....GOOD LUCK!

Adrienne Otto Frame
Residence Coordinator
Mahoney Residential College
University of Miami

I am sorry to hear that you have already had to deal with such a big
situation.  I am very glad to hear that the student is getting the support and care they need.  You are right that you as the staff member you have been affected and need to work through the things this situation has brought up for you.

I have two suggestions for you:

1.  I encourage you to speak with your supervisor about your need for support.  He/She may not realize you are having a difficult time working through the issues this situation may have brought up for you. 
2.  I also strongly suggest you utilize the University's Personal Counseling Center.  I am sure they have experience with supporting the staff who deal with traumatic situations.  They are well trained and although I do not know them I am sure they will be a wonderful outlet
for you well beyond this situation.

I wish you luck and I hope you enjoy being an RA.

********************************************
Lina Balcom
Assistant Director, Residential Life /
Coordinator of Substance Abuse and Wellness Programs
Rollins College
Winter Park, FL